I absolutely love being a homeschooling Mama to four awesome kids, but it can be mentally and physically exhausting.
Place tired, freshly bathed, milk cup holding, blanket snuggled toddler up with an episode of Doc McStuffins on a tablet, on the couch near Dad. Announce to my husband that I'm taking a bath. Tell the children I am taking a bath.
Grab my towel and favorite pajamas. Wait outside bathroom for the traffic jam of kids who can't wait fifteen minites to go.
Remove toys, and wet wash clothes from tub. Run the hottest water possible into the tub.
Add Epsom salts and turn on favorite worship music on my phone. My phone automatically starts playing The Greatest Showman sound track, because one of the kids was borrowing my phone. Switch music to Lauren Daigle.
Strip down, avoid mirror (I've had four kids after all) and climb into tub.
Child knocks on door, interruption one.
Still sitting on potty, 'Mom, what are you doing?'
Me: 'I'm shoveling snow. Why? What does it look like I'm doing?'
*All sarcasm is lost on this one.*
Are you done yet? Please go finish your evening chore.'
'Do you want me to keep you company? Do you want me to sing you a song? Are you lonely? I'm gonna miss you!'
Soap up wash cloth, shave legs above the shins for the first time in longer than I care to admit, and wash body.
Someone stands outside the bathroom door, doing a rather loud, completely believable cry.
Interruption two.
'Huh Mom? What? Do you need me? Did you miss me?'... It's Addison again.
After reassuring her that I promise I'm not lonely, and as long as no one is hurt I'm good for her to leave.
She is doing her kitchen chore, 'Mom, how do you get the lid off of this cup. It is on really tight.'
Me- 'There are two very strong and able-bodied men in the living room.'
Emma: 'I already asked Alex (13), he said it was too tight, Dad said he couldn't because of the tendonitis in his arm.'
'Wow Mom! How did you do that?!'
Emma leaves, actually closing the door.
That's the end of interruption number three.
I attempt to listen to music(at it's still lowered volume) and think calm thoughts. Twelve seconds later...
I hear a scratching and meows at the bathroom door. Ah yes, interruption number four (Anna, age 2) has shown up right on time.
Anna: 'Mommy, I WANT you! Meow! Mommy I NEED you!' Scratching.
Me: Silently praising God that the toddler lock is still on the doorknob. 'Why do you need me?'
She mumbles through the door and walks off, meowing.
Number five.
She wants to make sure I don't actually miss her. Comes into the bathroom and makes herself comfy on the toilet lid.
Thinking to self. This is great, she will go and watch a show!
Nope.
She decides to hang out for a few. She is writing a note on the mirror, so I can read it; in case I get lonely and want something to read. Also in case I might forget about her in the whole fifteen minutes of my bath.
She opens the curtains and insists I should read the note, so she can see the surprise on my face.
Me: 'Addison'
Addison: 'Yes, Mommy?' *doe eyed*
Me: Cringing from guilt before even opening my mouth. 'Get out.'
Addison: 'Won't you miss me? Will you be lonely? Do you want me to tell you a story? Do you want to tell me a story? Can we have ice cream for a snack?
*Slowly leaving room and sticking her face in the crack as it closes.*
'Bye Mom, I'll miss you, I can stay if you want. I love you!'
Walks away leaving door cracked 2.5 inches. Every single time.
Alex (age 13) sees door is cracked and assumes no one is in the bathroom. Whips open door.(Yes, I'm smart enough to shut the shower curtain while bathing.)
Alex: ' Oops, sorry Mom. Didn't know you were in here. Hey?! Why don't you shut the door so people know to knock?'
Me: cutting him off. 'Get out.'
Alex: 'But...'
Me: 'Unless you want me to come in and ask you questions while you shower, get out.'
Having lost all hope of having a relaxing soak in the tub, I release the tub plug and admit defeat. I Climb from the tub to find my towel has been used to dry someone's hands and my clean clothes have been trampled, I lock the door.
I emerge from the bathroom 17 minutes after entering to find everyone happily engrossed in other things. They don't need me anymore, I'm clearly available to help them now.
Briefly consider running away to a deserted island and then secretly admit that I would miss them, plus the art work here is priceless!