Shortly after the move to our tiny house in the Fall, I started to get sick. I had no clue what was wrong and ended up at the Dr. Office in tears from the pain. At first he was concerned it could be ovarian or uterine cancer. Tests ruled that out and I was given a handful of medicines to try to straighten things out. I was quite the mess for about 5 weeks. We finally discovered what the issue was shortly after Thanksgiving. I had a copper IUD and it had been shifting and moving around. It had poked my uterine lining and had caused an infection as well as thrown my hormones into quite the tizzy.
In the midst of all of this the Lord was also working on me. See...a few years ago we had decided that I shouldn't have any more children...even though it pained my heart to make that decision at the time. I was so sick during and after our youngest that I was terrified to be pregnant again. But somewhere in my fear I had developed a negative attitude toward having more children. Which is what I never intended to happen. I love all children and think every one is a blessing no matter the circumstance. I had hardened my heart toward more children. The Lord took the time while I was sick to show me and I had to really work to over come that feeling and the fear.
I had toted that I had worked too hard to get healthy to throw it all away. That, another would be a lot of work because we just got all the kids old enough to have fun with them. I had used all the excuses. The ones that I used to be pained to hear from others had become my mantra.
Once the Lord opened my eyes to how I had become it took me a couple weeks to come around. I was painful. But I realized that my health and safety isn't made by how well I eat or how many miles I walk...Sure it helps...but my health and safety comes from the Lord and if He wants me to be sick..I will be sick no matter if I am pregnant or not.
I had my IUD removed shortly after Christmas and refuse to ever go near one again. That thing did a number on me to the point I was concerned I would need treatment to heal the wounds.
Well low and behold shortly into the New Year we found out we are expecting our fourth child. We were both taken by surprise at first and frankly it took a while to wrap our minds around it.
I am almost 13 weeks now. The morning sickness was definitely not fun, but has lessened. I am thankful for this chance to have a baby again, although I am still a bit overwhelmed.
We got rid of everything baby when we moved. I know we will be provided for and everything will fall into place. I just have to trust in the Lord and remain calm.
Everyone is surprised when I tell them we are expecting again. They keep saying, 'but you said you were done' I have been replying...'I know, but God had other plans and who am I to question it.'
Blessings,
Lyndsay
